APP (October 1, 2011)

[rockyourbody]

Character: Santo Vaccarro aka "Rockslide"
Series: Various X-Men comics
Character Age: Approximately 16
Canon: Being a mutant is hard. Being tolerated is pretty much the best you can hope for, and if your own family doesn't ditch you once your mutation manifests, the mutant-hating terrorists (or possibly just... mutant terrorists) will pick up their slack. Luckily for young mutants looking to harness their powers and maybe even train to become the next X-Men, there's a place of tolerance and safety waiting for them. It used to be the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning, but now the mutants have moved to the west coast, living apart from nonpowered humans on an island off of California.

Santo Vaccarro, codename Rockslide, has grown from immature bully to bonafide X-Man during his time at Xavier's. A huge teen who's literally built out of rocks and psychic energy - which gives him the ability to explode and reform his body at will - no one would ever call him a genius (or even close), but he makes up for his lack of smarts with an abundance of loyalty to his teammates and friends. Santo truly enjoys fighting bad guys and has a penchant for coming up with implausible or outright fake stories to tell his friends. Despite the horrible things he's witnessed as a mutant, Santo prefers to live day to day, focusing on the awesome instead of the depressing. The most awesome thing, of course, being himself.

Sample Post:
"My name's Rockslide and it's time for you to get ready for a stone-cold asskicking, X-Men style!"

That's what I said to the zombies right before I destroyed them. It was awesome. The horde was all around me, moaning and trying to bite at my flesh. "But, Rockslide, you don't have any flesh - you're, like, made out of rocks." That's what you're probably about to say. My answer? Zombies are freakin' dumb and don't know any better, and quit interrupting my epic story. So anyway, like I was saying, the zombie horde had surrounded me, but I knew I could deal with those guys easy.

My first move was to get rid of the ones who were stupid enough to get close to me. With a single sweep of my arm, they were down. I wiped their stinking guts on my pants and zeroed in on the stragglers. Some of 'em had seen what I'd done to their buddies, and they were pissed. The one closest to me let out another moan, and then - boom, out of the corn, more zombies! Hundreds... no, thousands of 'em! They swarmed around me, blocking off my escape. I was trapped in an ocean of dead people. And then the cows showed up.

They were all mooing and chewing grass and doing other lame cow things, but they walked right into the ocean of zombies like they were too cool to be scared. Or maybe they didn't know what zombies are. Either way, shit went down. The zombies were biting the cows, the cows were trampling the zombies, sparks were flying everywhere - and I was like, whoa, sparks? What the hell are these cows made of, metal? Then it hit me - these cows were mutants, and I needed to back them up! Mutants gotta stick together, y'know?

So I exploded. Rock shrapnel flying in all directions, zombie guts everywhere! The cows were, like, inspired by my totally heroic act and stepped up their trampling. Heh, stepped up. By the time I reformed, the mutantcows had taken out all the zombies my grenade of awesome missed, and I stood there, covered in guts, totally triumphant, surrounded by my new bros.

Today's been the best day of my life, and it's not over yet. Now it's time for the hero to get the girl. I gotta find that Marcy chick the toucans keep telling me about!